


Not just a team, but a family.

by Thebookofavenging



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Arc Reactor, Arc Reactor Angst, Arc Reactor Issues, Avengers Tower, Bruce Banner & Tony Stark Feels, Bruce Banner & Tony Stark Friendship, Bruce Banner Feels, Canon Divergence - Iron Man 3, Clint Barton & Tony Stark Friendship, Domestic Avengers, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt Tony, Hurt Tony Stark, Hurt/Comfort, Natasha Is a Good Bro, Natasha Romanov & Tony Stark Friendship, No Arc Reactor, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Pepper Potts Is a Good Bro, Protective Bruce Banner, Protective Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers & Tony Stark Friendship, Team as Family, Tony Being Tony, Tony Stark Angst, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Is a Good Bro, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-05
Updated: 2017-12-16
Packaged: 2019-02-11 00:45:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12923679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thebookofavenging/pseuds/Thebookofavenging
Summary: Post the arc-reactor surgery, tony wakes up to find the avengers in his hospital room and needless to say he is a little surprised by it. Fluff and Confusion ensues.





	1. Waking up.

**Author's Note:**

> Please read:  
> 1\. Tony and Pepper are exes in this, they broke up after the events of iron man 3. Yet they remain good friends and they are like a family for each-other.   
> 2\. Tony has been living with the avengers for a while in the tower before he decided to have the surgery.

When tony stark woke up in the hospital to a room full of people, he had no idea how they got here.

Tony being who he is decided to have the surgery to remove the arc-reactor without telling the team about it. He had thought about it though, but in the end he decided he was tony freaking stark and he didn't need moral support. Of-course he had pepper (because he couldn't not tell her after everything they have been through) and Rhodey (because he tells Rhodey everything) with him so he actually knew he will have the moral support he needed, but still he told himself that.

It was true that after moving in with them in the tower (after his house in Malibu was blown up to little pieces) they had all gotten closer to each-other. It was actually hard at first living with all those egos, but then they just found themselves having fun.

 He trusted them and he felt safe around them but the true reason as to why he didn't tell them, the one he kept hidden inside him was that he was scared to tell them, he was scared that they would see him as flesh and blood, that they would see his weakness and just think less of him. It was his fear since he first met them in the Helicarrier and it has been his fear since and he can't seem to be able to shake it, especially since he still remembers his situation with Steve in the Helicarrier.

 Steve told him he was just a man in a suite of armor. So really if he saw him like this what would he think of him. And he also knew Steve was a decent fellow that if he called and told him he was doing this, he would come and be there for his soldier and he would never let whatever he thought of tony get in the way. And that just seemed worse, that Steve would be here thinking that and still standing by him just grated tony someway he didn't understand because yes, maybe they were doing better with each other now but there was still something about Steve that he just couldn't place. Something that made him want to impress Steve and gain his respect not just be his friend.

He thought about telling Bruce because he believed that Bruce wouldn't think any less of him and he actually told him, it is just that Bruce fell asleep before that part of the story, and when he woke him up he just couldn't bring himself to tell him again, the moment was just gone. He thought it is better this way anyway. So when he woke up to find them all in his room, it was hard to know if he was dreaming or not.

"Tony, hey tony can you hear me." that sounded like pepper, and he wanted to answer her, it just that he was not over the state of shock yet, Steve, Bruce, Natasha, Clint even Thor were all towering over his bed and while he expected the feeling of embarrassment, he didn't expect it to be accompanied by well…. JOY. Did he want them to show up? Did he actually need them here?

"Tony, please say something ." pepper said again

This time he forced himself to talk, and it didn't actually make that much of a difference because what came out was an intangible sound anyway. His throat was dry and for some-reason he couldn't form words, well not some-reason he just had surgery so he shouldn't be able to anyway, right?

Then Bruce was grabbing the ice chips and pepper was supporting his head, and as soon as the ice melted in his mouth, he just felt better, he made another sound and Bruce just seemed to understand and placed another spoonful in his mouth and tony just wanted to hug him. because hey, Bruce is here and wait, was he actually listening?

"how ?." he wanted to say how did you know or who told you but that was all that came out of him.

"Steve called me because he needed to reach you and he couldn't. I told him I was in the hospital with you and then I don't know everyone kind of knew." pepper said somehow knowing just what he wanted to ask

" I am sorry tony, I know you said you didn't want to make it a big deal but when he called I just couldn’t stop myself from telling him." pepper then added

Although tony knew that pepper didn't find herself doing anything. Pepper did things because she wanted to do them, because she decided that. When he told her about his decision not to tell the other avengers, when he told her that he will just tell them that he was going away on business. she smiled knowingly and didn't say anything. He should have known damn it he should have just known then.

" why didn't you just tell us ?." that time it was Bruce asking the questions.

Tony just shrugged or at least tried to and found himself wincing instead. It is just that he wasn't giving an answer to that not now, not ever. He knew he could tell Bruce " I did tell you" but then Bruce would feel all guilty inside and it just wasn't worth it.

 He shifted his eyes to look at Steve and he found that he couldn't read what the man was thinking. He stood there arms crossed with a blank look in his face, but his eyes looked kind at least tony thought so.

 Clint had his poker face but when Tony's eyes crossed his, he smiled genuinely and it made tony smile too because it was rare to see Hawkeye's smile.

 Natasha was looking at him kindly and he could tell that she was worried, she had her worried face on (he is surprised that he knows her worried face, when did that happen?) and she smiles too when their eyes cross, that same smile he caught her smile when she reached him on that street after he fell from space, yeah he caught that one too.

Then there was Thor, beaming like he just came back from a party, with eyes full of love. Tony just felt marginally better as soon as he saw him, it just felt good to see one of them with zero tension in his body.

"I am glad you woke up friend stark, the doctor said we wouldn't need to worry after you do." Thor said

And tony thought that explained the beaming.

"Speaking of the doctor, I should probably go get him." pepper said and then she let go of his hand, he didn't even realize she was holding his hand until she left and suddenly he felt cold. He shivered

"Are you cold friend stark, do you need a blanket." Thor said a little louder than tony would have preferred

"No Thor, it is probably just the anesthesia wearing off." Bruce said

"How are you feeling Tony?" Bruce then asked

Tony didn't know how to answer that, he felt weird, as if he was dreaming and everything was a little blurry. He also felt like he was missing something. The fact that the arc reactor wasn't there just made the whole situation a little more panicky. It is true that waking up to them made him momentarily forget that fact that now he is arc reactor free. Yet It was all coming back to him now, and it just seemed as if he was not himself.

"fine" was all that he said though because first that is all he had the ability to say and second he really wasn't going to tell them all that.

he wanted to but still he had the same fears of before the surgery, in fact he was really freaking out now because a- they just saw him now, weaknesses and all. b- steve looked angry c- bruce looked sad d- WHERE THE HELL WAS THE ARC REACTOR. He moved his heavy hands and tried to touch the area where the reactor was. And suddenly there was a hand - Steve's- grabbing his and placing it gently on the bed

"I don't think you should touch that tony." Steve said and he was so… gentle. His voice, his eyes, his hands. All of it was just so gentle. Like the anger from before completely dissipated and it wasn't captain America anymore, it was Steve rogers.

For some reason tony just couldn't defy him and he just felt safe, he was sure now he was fine, arc reactor or not, they were here and they would take care of him. and if he stopped breathing Bruce would hulk out and scream in his ear and bring him back and Steve would do CPR and Natasha and Clint would hold him yet know how to strangle anyone who approached him with just one hand and Thor would just be Thor because well he is practically a god. So he drifted back to sleep and thought maybe he can postpone being horrified for now.


	2. Brucey-Bear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So i am not sure i like this one. i may end up editing it later. but please leave your thoughts in the comments if you like it or if you have ideas on how to make it better. 
> 
> Hopefully Rhodey will show up soon too if i figure out how to write him. 
> 
> Next chapter will probably be focused on Steve and tony.

The next time Tony woke up, he kept his eyes closed and acted like he didn't because he remembered all too well what happened the first time he did. Finding them all here and the awful joyful feeling he had.

The First thing he registered was the pain radiating in his chest, which was actually expected. The doctor had warned him before the surgery that the recovery process was not going to be painless and that the surgery will take a toll on his body. Tony wanted to tell him that he had high pain tolerance, you know, having had surgery in a cave before and all that made the pain that would probably be a nine for somebody else, a six for him, and he can handle a six.

Second, he registered that he wasn't alone in the room, there was movement around him and his bed was dipped in a way that indicated someone else was using it, even if only to lean on or something. And he smelled Bruce, he knows he sounds creepy but it is just that Bruce had this very distinct smell about him, like the smell that radiates from the kitchen after somebody bakes something. They were once working side by side in the lab when Tony suddenly blurted out that Bruce smelled like cupcakes, which made Bruce blush and look adorable. Tony was grateful that he took it as the compliment tony intended it to be. It just for some reason tony always attributed baking smells to warm comfy homes that are kind and Bruce, well, he was the perfect personification of that so it fit he would smell like it too. So he knew that Bruce was probably the one using his bed as a pillow for his head. The movement, however, he couldn't make out who was causing it.

 He decided to open his eyes then because he felt he was being a bit childish. And what he found when he did was actually rather astonishing. The movement was Steve's hands moving on paper, like he was drawing something. And the person using his bed was actually not just one person, while Bruce was definitely on one side of his bed, Natasha was using the other side for her legs, while she sat on a chair that was adjacent to said bed and she was closing her eyes in a way that would fool someone else into thinking she was asleep, not him though. Thor was not to be found but Clint was sleeping on the couch next to his bed.

"Look who is awake." Natasha suddenly said and he was triumphant that he was right about her not sleeping. Steve suddenly jumped up and was next to his bed which woke up both Clint and Bruce.

"You guys wake up so easily." he joked to ease off the tension of everybody looking at him.

"I wasn't really like sleeping, just resting my eyes." Bruce said and Clint nodded and said: "yeah, me too."

"where is thor?" Tony said because he was rather curious

"he was here earlier, he had to leave to take care of things back in Asgard but said he would be back as soon as you go back to the tower." Clint answered him and again gave him that warm Clint smile that took him by surprise each time.

"How are you feeling, Tony?" Steve said and for some reason, he had his captain America voice on.

"Okay, I guess." Tony said and he was sure he looked as lost and distracted as he felt because because he wanted to say more he wanted to ask questions, he wanted to know how long he has been out before he woke up the first time. Yet he didn't know when they started getting included in this whole thing and he wasn't sure he wanted to be the one to bring "him not telling them" up.

"when I arrived at the hospital, your doctor told me that you informed him that my name was in your list of doctors, so I basically know everything about the surgery, if you have any questions, I probably know most of the answers" Bruce said because apparently tony did look like he had questions.

 Tony now realized that he hadn't told the doctor that Bruce won't be part of his team anymore. And yes tony had done that when he first decided that he was going to have the surgery and then decided to tell Bruce about the whole thing, he told his doctor that Bruce Banner will understand the medical jargon better than Pepper and Rhodey  and that he should be informed of everything then well everything happened and he forgot to change that which now he was kind of glad of.

He wanted to ask questions but first, he was getting kind of tired of them towering over him. he tried to search for the keys to move the bed but as soon as he moved, the pain turned into an eight and he clenched his eyes shut and gasped. Suddenly there were hands -Natasha's- moving up and down his shoulders in a soothing motion which made him relax again and as soon as he opened his eyes to look at her, she moved back and discarded her hands. Then Bruce raised his bed for him, again somehow knowing just what he needed, and when he was in a semi upward position, he felt way better than before and it was easier to breathe. He got himself under control and checked with his brain that he could speak without screaming in pain then he proceeded in asking Bruce what he had wanted to ask.

"how long was I out?" Tony asked,

"you actually woke up before." Bruce said

"Yeah, no, I remember that. I mean before that, how long was I out after the surgery?" Tony asked

"well, you were completely out for the first two days you spent in the intensive care. the doctor had you on some pretty strong drugs so it was expected. on the third day he brought the dose down a little and you started showing signs of waking up. so they moved you into a regular room and a few hours after that you woke up." Bruce said

Tony took a minute to absorb the information given to him. two days wasn't bad, it was actually better than they had expected. his body seemed to adjust to the surgery quite well. He still felt weird though, without the Arc-Reactor. He felt a void in his chest but he, also, felt lighter, like he could breathe way easier than before which was probably true.

"how long do I have to stay here?" Tony asked

"well, not long. The doctor said that you waking up was a sign that your chest was adjusting faster to the effects of the surgery than he had first expected. He is saying that it is a really good sign. You just need to stay for a couple of days so you could avoid getting any infection." Bruce said

So yeah a couple of days in the hospital, that won't be fun but all, in all everything looks good. He suddenly realized that everyone was really quiet like they were listening to all of this as intently as he was and they were all looking at him.

"so, where is pepper?" Tony asked just to say anything, even though he knew she was probably back at the SI taking care of business.

"she had to go to the company but said she will be back later," Natasha said

Tony nodded but still, the tension in the room didn't ease.

"Hey Captain, why are you so quiet." Tony said, trying to get Steve to talk which he was about to when Bruce said "Hey guys, I need to speak with Tony alone for a second, can you all wait outside Please?" and as soon as he said that everyone nodded and moved out of the room and Tony felt his stomach drop.

After they all walked out, Bruce kept shifting in his place for a while and kept looking at the floor before he finally spoke up as quiet as he always was.

"I thought we were friends Tony. I mean, we live in the same home. We spend most of our days together in the lab. I felt like we were friends, the doctor says that you told him that I know so why didn't you tell me?" and Tony was also quiet, which was unusual for him, but he looked Bruce dead in the eyes and tried to think of a way to tell him without making him feel guilty, at the end he decided to make a joke out of it, unfortunately somehow his brain didn't completely agree with his mouth,

"I am sorry, I just fell asleep there, what were you saying again?" Tony said, and as soon as he said it, he knew he just made a mistake. Because that was not funny, that was bitter. Realization lit up in Bruce's eyes and Tony saw his face crumble.

 

"you did tell me, didn't you?" Bruce said slowly like he was lost somewhere far away. And Tony wanted to punch himself in the face for his blunt delivery. It is just that as soon as Bruce told him that he knows all the information about the surgery, he knew sooner or later Bruce will ask and that he will have to tell him. "god tony. I am so sorry, I am just so freaking sorry." Bruce added, this time with a mix of anger and pain in his voice, and before Tony can answer him at all. He was walking out of the room.

Tony immediately tried to get up after him but was soon reminded of his current state when he felt pain erupt like fire in his chest. he gasped and grabbed the sides of the bed which made his cannula get trapped under his arm and he felt it getting pulled a little from his hand before the pain made him pass out. his last thought before darkness engulfed him completely was that he probably was the biggest idiot on earth at the moment.


	3. Capsicle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry the layout of the paper is not right for some reason but i will try to fix it.

Waking up this time was hazier, even opening his eyes seemed impossible. He registered that he had an oxygen mask on and he immediately wanted to yank it away. He tried to do just that but his arms were heavy and he felt that he was lacking any and all energy to do so. The memories of what went on with Bruce earlier came crashing down on him and he moaned wanting to call out for him. As soon as the sound came out of him, he felt movement beside his head and a hand grabbing his shoulder and he heard someone speak

“Hey Tony, it is okay, you are okay. Can you hear me.” Tony recognized the voice as Steve’s and he mumbled a yes that didn’t come out resembling anything but Steve understood anyway.

“Good, that’s good Tony.” Steve said and he sounded exhausted and worried that Tony wanted to pat his hands or something to assure him everything was okay, but he still couldn’t. He wanted to talk though, and he shook his head frantically trying to get Steve to remove the mask from his face.

“Tony it is okay that is just the oxygen mask.” Duh, Tony thought and he wanted to tell Steve that he Is immensely aware of what it is, he just wanted it gone. “You had it on before, when you were still in intensive care but well you probably don’t remember that, the doctor thought you needed it again after you blacked out but he promised that as soon as your oxygen levels are better they will remove it and place a nasal cannula instead.” Tony thought about that and calmed down a bit, but he wanted Steve to tell him what happened exactly and if Bruce was okay. He needed Steve to just take it off for a minute to ask, so he forced himself to open his eyes and look pleadingly at him and then shook his head just one more time, hoping Steve would understand. Steve smiled as soon as he saw his eyes open but then he caught on to what Tony needed. he hesitated to do it at first but then he carefully lowered the mask from Tony's face. Tong immediately understood why he needed it when he felt how harder it was to breathe without it but he forced himself to talk.

“Steve, where is Bruce, I need him.” Tony said with difficulty.

“He is fine Tony, I sent them all back to the tower so they could sleep and rest for a while. And Bruce said he just needed to go and calm down a bit, and I didn’t want him to go alone.” Steve said in an apologetic tone, as if he didn’t want to tell him about Bruce.

“Tell him to come back as soon as he can, please. I need to speak with him.” Tony said and he gasped at the end of his sentence and he felt his eyes closing again. Steve gently placed the oxygen mask back on.

“I will Tony, don’t worry everything will be fine, just rest now.”

And Tony lost consciousness again.

The next time he woke up, the oxygen mask was gone and instead he had a nasal cannula. His bed was also elevated again the way he liked it and he felt more aware. And while he was thankful for that awareness, he didn’t like the pain that accompanied it. He opened his eyes and raised his head to look at the room and found Steve sleeping in a chair beside him, crossing his arms and bowing his head downwards like he fell asleep in a car. Tony couldn’t help the smile that tugged at his mouth. He then noticed the sketch that Steve was working on resting on the hospital bed next to him, it was of Tony, sprawled on the hospital bed with the oxygen mask on but it did not look sad. Somehow Steve managed to make Tony strong and peaceful instead of weak and pathetic. Tony actually kind of liked it. He grabbed the Notebook that Steve was drawing in and found more sketches of him, one was him in intensive care -which he had to admit he looked pathetic in- and another one of him sleeping in the hospital bed -probably the one he was working on that time tony heard- and then this one. Tony felt that the others had some anger in them but this last one didn’t. He placed the sketch back on and then he felt thirsty so he carefully levered himself and tried to extend his arm to get the cup of water on his nightstand but regretted it when he couldn’t help the yelp of pain that escaped his mouth and immediately slumped back in the bed with a groan. Steve was up as soon as that happened and he placed his hands on his shoulders again.

“What were you doing?” Steve said but Tony knew that was only an angry rhetorical question because Steve was already grabbing the cup and placing the straw in his mouth. Tony sipped and then relaxed his body completely; breathing till the pain became just a dull ache. Steve was looking at him intently, waiting to see the tension leave his body then he sat down again and brought the chair closer.

“How are you feeling?” Steve said and Tony immediately answered, “I am fine capsicle how are you?”

This earned him a glare that didn’t actually carry any anger “I am serious Tony, how is the pain??? The doctor said that you were off the heavy stuff and may start to feel it a bit more.” Tony wanted to say that he felt quite well before but instead, he went with “it is fine; I guess not that bad as long as I am not moving.” This was the full truth actually. Steve nodded reassured then noticed the sketches on the bed and Tony noticed that his face became a little bit uncomfortable but he immediately recovered and said,

“Sorry, sometimes when I get anxious, I draw.”

Tony then smiled and said, “don’t worry Steve, I actually like them but are you angry with me or something.” His tone was light but his eyes were sincere. In hindsight, it wasn’t the smartest thing to say (because well it might lead to him getting lectured), but Tony had this feeling since he woke up the first time that Steve was angry with him and while he suspected why he still didn’t know how to start the conversation and he felt uneasy.

“No, not mad just well sad really. I mean why didn’t you just tell us. Since you moved in I thought we were all getting pretty close. We weren’t just a team anymore but a family.”

 And well that was a slap in Tony’s face, because Steve used the word family. And Tony he thought of them as such. But well even his own family hated to see him weak. His father hated it when Tony complained and he vanished completely when there was anything wrong with him. His mother also didn’t know how to deal with sick people, so most of the time Tony tried not to complain and he tried to act tougher than he was until Jarvis would finally notice and step in to take care of him.

“I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it, I am not a complainer Steve and I don’t like to be one. I thought I would come do the surgery, stay here for a while and when I came back to the tower you guys would know and that would be it.” Tony said looking at Steve so he knew he was sincere

“Yes, but why, you could have just told us instead of lying about it. It is a big deal, you know. Bruce understood it more than all of us and he was really worried and sad that you didn’t confide in him.” Steve said And oh, Tony realized now that Bruce did not tell Steve what actually happened. He probably wasn’t ready to talk about it or something; he really needs to make it right with him. But first, he also needs Steve to understand.

“I am an avenger Steve, I am strong. You guys have to depend on me in fights and I thought seeing me like this, well could make you lose faith in me.” Tony said looking at his hands instead of Steve. He really didn’t expect that he would be able to say all of that. But they were here for him when he needed and he still hadn’t seen in any of their eyes pity or even a resemblance of it, and he really did not want them to feel like they were not family for him or that he loved them any less.

“Tony we all have our issues; I would never think that you are weaker because of this. In fact, I think it makes you stronger.” Steve said and smiled genuinely at Tony and Tony smiled back at him then looked back at his hands.

“Listen, Tony, I just want you to know that if at any time you need us, you have to know we have got your back because we need you too and we appreciate you, okay? I am here with you today because I want to, Tony, because I care about you.” Steve said, paused,  then added, “I know you would do it for us too.”

Tony was actually speechless about the whole thing and highly emotional so he just looked at Steve and nodded and said, “I promise, I will try to be more honest and open about things in the future, okay?”

“Yeah well, that is good enough for me.” Steve said gently. They took a moment to be silent after that and then Steve spoke again “can I ask what happened with you and Bruce, he seemed really distressed about it and I just want to make sure everyone is alright.”

“Well, when I decided I was going to do the surgery, I went to tell him about it. And while I was giving him the whole story and just telling him why I would do it, he fell asleep on me. I know it sounds ridiculous but well I was fumbling and I was telling him a long story because I didn’t know how to actually tell him. But then when I told him he didn't actually hear me. And when he asked yesterday, I told him what had happened and he just freaked out and kept saying he was sorry and walked out before I can tell him anything.” Tony said and then closed his eyes. The long talk was making him tired all of a sudden but then he opened them again to look at Steve and found his face impassive.

“Oh ok, yeah I would imagine he is feeling guilty.” Steve said as if he was distracted by something else.

“Yeah, I will talk to him about it as soon as I see him. It is fine really he shouldn’t get worked up about it.” Tony said and Steve just nodded at him. Tony felt the need to clarify why he told only Bruce so he did

“Listen, I told Bruce because well I wanted him to be with the doctors and stuff. I thought he was the only one that would you know understand the medical stuff and that he..” Tony said but then Steve Interrupted him and said “I get it, he is just like you. He is not a super-soldier or a highly trained assassin or well an Asgardian.” Steve said and smiled, he wasn’t saying it in a condescending way but in an understanding one, as if he got exactly what Tony thought at the time, that they would have looked down on him but Bruce wouldn’t.

“I owe you an apology Cap, for thinking that you would act that way.” Tong said because now he was feeling even more of an asshole and wanted to make it right with Steve. He found that he couldn’t speak anymore as his speech was beginning to be slurred and his eyes were drooping. He heard Steve huff out a laugh and then say “it is okay Tony, get some rest now.” Steve said and Tony didn’t really need to be told twice. He will fix everything when he wakes up.


	4. Freaking out.

Tony stayed in the hospital five days after he was moved to a regular room (plus the two in the intensive care, so 7 days in total) and in those days, never once had he woken up to find himself alone in the hospital.

Pepper, Steve, Natasha or Clint were always there when he did. Sometimes he woke up to Steve drawing by his bedside, other times to him sleeping on the couch. Sometimes he woke up to Pepper playing in his hair or holding his hand. The last time he woke up to Pepper he had thanked her, and she had said “for what” with a mischievous smile that assured him that she actually knew. He doesn’t know how he would have done it without them here, and she knew that even before he knew it himself.

Other times he woke up to Clint just sitting there doing completely nothing in a chair by his bed, but as soon as tony opened his eyes, Clint would smile and they would just talk about everything and anything, sometimes they even played chess (they were both gamers, like in the tower they would actually spend any time they have together playing games, it was their way of bonding really. Just playing and bantering for hours).

 The funniest to wake up to at first was Natasha, because for some reason she always acted like she was asleep, and he always knew she wasn’t (and yes he tried screaming in pain just to surprise her, but well, let’s just say she is a super spy for a reason). After that he just turned on the TV whenever she was there and learned to enjoy her silence and his. Until one day, he woke up and found her reading a book, and as soon as he looked at her, she raised her voice and read for both of them and that is maybe one of his favorite moments in his whole life.

Other times, he woke up and they were all there together with him, his family, well missing Rhodey, Bruce and Thor of course (and he has to say that this was his favorite to wake up to, all of them just laughing and talking together waiting for him to wake up and join them. It always made his heart happy). He has wondered about Rhodes over the duration of his stay, and as soon as he saw pepper he had asked her where he was. She had told him that Rhodes was there with him, that he is actually the only one who had watched the surgery with Bruce, then he had stayed when Tony was in the intensive care, but as soon as he was moved to a regular room and he made sure he was okay, he had to leave for a few days and said he would be back as soon as possible. Tony knows that Rhodey probably didn’t want to be there for the emotional parts, they were always like this with each other, being there for the big moments and not letting their emotions show except in subtle hints.

It was why having the avengers here made everything better and more intimate. Like they were all his family but some family members love you to death without ever showing, and some just gives all they have got and you love all of them the same and you are thankful that they exist. He knows that Rhodes will probably show up and stay with him for hours later when he is working on something in his workshop; to subtly make sure tony was not over exerting himself. And Tony knows that this will be his way to assure himself that Tony was alive and well and that he had survived and Tony already couldn’t wait for it.

 And some family members you can tell things you can’t tell the others and yes he means Bruce. He misses Bruce so freaking much it hurts and he really doesn’t need any more pain. Bruce has not been in his hospital room once since their little confrontation. Clint and Steve always tell him that Bruce says hi but when he asks if he is coming to visit, they smile apologetically at him. He misses him but he is also very angry with him, like it is not fair that he is leaving him like this (and he wants to say again but he won’t because that would be bitter). Like that fight was on the first day he woke up, and today he is getting discharged and Bruce still hadn’t even called him to check on him (and really how is that making Bruce feel less guilty about the situation, ha Brucey bear?).

Tony is actually amazing himself by how calm he is about all of it, like he doesn’t know how he hasn’t yet broken out of the hospital just to scream at him or something. Or you know just broken out of the hospital anyway (apparently they have a good effect on him or something and he supposes the fact that they never leave also helps, actually scratch that he is pretty sure it does). So yeah well he was getting discharged today and he was going to go to the tower, find Bruce then get this over with because it was getting out of hand.

 Steve is supposed to come pick him up anytime now after finishing his discharge arrangements. and Tony insisted that by the time he arrives everything would be ready so they could just leave (he really really wants to go home now) so the doctor came and checked him one last time, told him the list of things he should look out for and asked him to just please rest for a few more days before he is running around again.  Tony nodded and agreed even though he was planning on going straight to the lab once he gets home.

After the doctor left Tony slowly got off the bed because he wanted to change his hospital gown and just be ready to go (and yes he really hates that part, since the first time they told him that he had to walk around now so he could get his strength back and all of that and he moved to get up, and even though Steve was always there for that part of the day cheering him on and letting him lean on him, he still everyday would scream on the inside when they made him move). It was slow going at best, but he managed to get the ridiculous sweat pants on and grabbed the shirt and then sat down on the bed again to catch his breath (and who knew the great Tony Stark could get winded up from just wearing his clothes).

He kept taking slow breaths and then tried to contemplate the least painful way to get his shirt on but realized they will all be pretty painful so he might as well get it over with (and he is now thankful that Pepper had brought him easy to wear clothes or else he thinks he would have given up on going home already) he untied his hospital gown and tried not to think about how his shirt will now fit him differently or the fact that his chest was covered in gauze again but as soon as the shirt was hanging loosely from his neck and he was extending his arms so they so would reach the sleeves, he froze. And everything came crashing down on him, all the memories of his captivity obie, yinsen and just...Shit shit shit he is going to die, he is going to just stop breathing now, they are going to kill him and he is back in the cave, no he is on the floor of his lab unable to reach the reactor, and, Dummy shit where is Dummy?. He comes back when Steve’s voice reaches him as he frantically screams his name and Tony looks at him with hazy eyes still not really knowing where he is or what happened and breathing heavily. He finally registers that Steve is still looking at him with worried eyes and saying his name slowly this time

“Yes Steve, I am right here.” Tony says and he is praying he looks and sounds better than he feels.

“Tony you scared me, I kept calling your name but you were like hyperventilating or something and you look white as a sheet.” Steve said and he was as out of breath as Tony was.

“I was trying to get dressed but the pain got really bad when I tried to put my arms in the sleeves and I was just trying to breathe through it.”  He knows this is a lie but not really because it did hurt and Steve doesn’t need to know it wasn’t just physical.

“Well you should have waited for me to help Tony.” And then He slowly grabbed Tony’s arms and as careful as he can put them through the sleeve holes and Tony calmed down again, as if his freaking out episode didn’t actually happen at all.

Steve then had to apologetically tell him that he will have to use the wheel chair because it was hospital policy and Steve looked so earnest in his hesitation that Tony did not have the heart to make a fuss about it even though he really hated it.

Steve wheeled him out the Hospital’s exit and slowly helped him up and the grabbed him tighter when he stumbled a little with the pain. He then passed out through the whole car ride which is what he was planning to do to avoid the pain of being transported anyway. And as soon as they had reached the tower and Steve was helping him in. He got the feeling that he was going to regret wanting to go home so much. Because as soon as he mentioned the lab Steve practically ordered him to not go there saying (and might he add that Steve was using his captain america voice)  

“we are not discussing this, the doctor said you get bed rest for a couple more days at home so no you are not heading to the lab” and while Tony really didn’t want to go to bed, he couldn’t say no to Steve either when he used that tone with him. The thing was Tony really wanted to see Bruce, and he had hoped going straight to the lab would allow this but then Steve (as if he knew Tony’s intentions) told him “You can’t be in the lab alone anyway, and Bruce is not there today and before you say it, no I will not sit with you because I am against the notion that you go to the lab to begin with.”

 So well there went his hopes of seeing Bruce. He did not ask where Bruce was because he didn’t want to seem desperate and he didn’t want Steve to think that maybe Tony would rather have Bruce with him or you know get any wrong idea (because he still thinks Steve was a little hurt that Tony had practically only told Bruce about the surgery). So he let Steve lead him to his bed and help him take off his shirt and actually practically tuck him in. Natasha and Clint then came and welcomed him back home quietly, and then Steve said they should all leave him so he could sleep.

Tony was okay with that at first, like it was the normal thing now that he is left alone to sleep because they are home and around him anyway and could rest in their own rooms. But as soon as they actually left he wanted to go back and ask them to stay until he had fallen asleep (which he probably would have never done anyway). It is just that in the hospital he never fell asleep alone, they would always stay until he did and he would always wake up to find them, so he doesn’t think they ever actually left him alone and well he had gotten used to that safety. He had gotten used to having them around him and the moment they left that room he felt panicky.

He was embarrassed that this was actually happening to him but in the hospital he didn’t even get the chance to realize that the Arc-Reactor was like really gone (except in like small freaky moments like the one he already had today) but now lying in his bed in the completely dark room and not finding the beautiful blue glow of it, he feels like he can’t breathe. Like he can feel the shrapnel go into his heart and that soon he will go into cardiac arrest and his heart will just stop.

He kept trying to fall asleep on his back because it would hurt less but then he decided to try turning on his left side (because it would give him the illusion that he was just hiding the glow now), and that flared the pain up to an amount where he actually couldn’t really breathe, he gasped and then turned on his back again with a hiss of pain and then tried to breathe deeply to tame the pain.

 He closed his eyes and thought of the days in the hospital, he thought of a conversation with Steve, When Steve had told him how at first he hated that he called him Capsicle and that it made him want to punch him until he realized that this is Tony’s way of messing with him, of starting a conversation and bantering with him. Steve told him the he all of a sudden realized that it was what made them friends at the end. That Tony never spoke to him as if he was going to break.

The thought made him smile again and he tried to conjure up more memories, like the day Clint all of a sudden looked at him and told him “you are an idiot forever wanting to go through this alone when you have a family” and Tony understood that this was his way of lecturing him, of telling him that in the future he would like to be included, of telling him that he is family. He then remembered Natasha’s voice reading to him, lulling him to sleep then how she suddenly paused grabbed his hand tightly and looked him dead in the eye, shook her head and smiled, he swears that he has never seen her eyes more gentle than he had seen in that moment, he remembers he smiled back and maintained eye contact until she let go and continued reading. And they both understood that this means they will always be there for each other.

 The pain was gone and for a moment he thought the panic would too, but then he opened his eyes and the room was dark again and he was alone. He kept trying for a while until he decided to sneak out into his lab and just work himself into exhaustion so he falls asleep faster (and he knows he is stupid, he knows that he can just go to any of them, he knows he can go to all of them but he thinks they have done enough, and the thought of being even more dependent on them scares him).

He gets up slowly and as soon as he is vertical he almost regrets it, almost. He hears them all watching something in the living room and he tiptoes to where they are and finds Steve, Natasha and Clint watching an old black and white movie (that he assumes is Steve’s choice). He smiles and contemplates going to sit with them and maybe he will fall asleep next to them but again decides against it (because well how long is this safety of theirs going to last? How much more will he get used to?).

He turns and stiffly makes his way to the elevator so he could go to his lab and he thinks about the enjoyment of working and talking with Jarvis and he already feels marginally better. Yet as soon as he walks into the lab, he freezes because Bruce is there. Bruce is right there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will all be Bruce and Tony working things out.


	5. Fixing it.

Bruce is there. Bruce is right there. Bruce is sitting on the couch that they both regularly nap on when they are working for endless hours in the lab. Bruce is actually in the lab, and it is like he was waiting for Tony and all the anger dissipates and he just wants to hug him. Bruce looks anywhere but him but as soon as Tony starts to make his way to him a little faster than he should he stands up and meets him halfway. And then they are hugging and Tony wants to cry and Bruce wants to cry but it is safe and good. The hug lasts until Tony lets out the yelp of pain he has been holding and then Bruce immediately lets him go like he was bit by something. Tony hisses and puts a hand to his chest and rubs it as if it will make the pain go away and he is smiling although his face is lined with pain.

“Sorry, are you okay?” Bruce said in a quiet voice

“Yes.” Tony said waving it off but when Bruce raised his eyebrow at him, he added “it is fine Bruce, really. The doctors said it will be painful for a while and that I should take it easy and watch out for infections but other than that it all went better than we expected.”

“That is really good Tony, but speaking of taking it easy, what are you doing down here.” Bruce said with a smirk and Tony huffed out a nervous laugh.

“What are you doing here? Steve told me you weren’t here.” Tony said and tried to make it sound casual with no success.

“Well actually I wasn’t but after they put you to bed, Steve told me that you were insisting on coming down to the lab so I figured you will end up down here anyway. I didn’t want you to be on your own.” Bruce said

“Why didn’t you just tell Steve that I will probably sneak out and come down here anyway?” Tony said

“Well.. uh.. I just.. I.. do you want me to get him instead?” Bruce said seeming like he already wanted to run away

“You know that is not what I meant. I just thought you didn’t want to see me. You didn’t visit for 5 days Bruce, you didn’t call. I understand that you might feel guilty but how did not seeing me help you get over it?” Tony said and he wished he could say it with a little less emotion in his voice but he couldn’t, his voice was angry, hurt, and sad and he couldn’t hide it.

“It didn’t, it is just that day when you know you told me and I walked out like that, I heard them calling your name frantically and I ran back and you were in bad shape Tony and I felt it would be better if you didn’t see me for a while.” Bruce said

“I was fine; I just tried to move after you that is all. And I was fine Bruce, it wasn’t a big deal. You didn’t need to feel guilty about that too.” Tony said and as soon as he said “too” he saw Bruce flinch. And well way to feel like an asshole.

“I… I am sorry Tony, I really am. I don’t know how it happened… I don’t know… I just, I tried to...” Bruce kept saying this and he was really emotional now, almost crying but then Tony cut him off by grabbing him and placing both hand on his shoulders and looked him straight in the eyes and said “Bruce I said it was fine.”

And Bruce just lost it, he extracted himself from Tony’s hold, and just started shouting,

“How could you say that? How is it fine Tony? You trusted me and I totally let you down, it is not fine, I know it is not fine! Are you really telling me that you didn’t feel awful when I fell asleep on you or that you didn’t feel awful when I wasn’t man enough to come back to your hospital room after what happened? You are asking me if it made me feel better. It didn’t, I felt terrible and I wanted to see you but I am a coward and I just couldn’t and you are saying it is fine! How can that be!”

Tony was frozen in his place all through Bruce’s rant and even after he finished, Tony still couldn’t say anything to ease Bruce’s guilt. The thing was his knees were actually going weak and it was getting painful to breathe, so he couldn’t imagine what it would feel like to talk. Other than that he just didn’t know what to say. Because yes of course what Bruce did had hurt him more than he could say, more than he would want to say. The moment he realized Bruce had fallen asleep on him and that he heard none of it, he wanted to cry and he wanted to tell him again, faster this time, just cut right to it. But he couldn’t and not just because it was hard to say it once, but because he was angry at Bruce.

 Still he knew Bruce cared for him and he knew that he was feeling guilty and he knew that Bruce didn’t deserve to feel like this (but well he wanted him to feel that way, just a little. If he was being entirely honest with himself)

They stood there looking at each other until Tony felt like he needed to sit down and headed to the chair he usually uses when working. Bruce then did the same and sat down on the couch. They stayed silent for a couple more minutes until Bruce saw Tony wince and place his elbows on the table and place his head in his hands. Bruce was alerted and went straight to him and squeezed his shoulder.

“Hey, is everything okay?” Bruce said

“Yeah, I think I am just tired.” Tony said without changing his posture but then grunted and brought his head even closer to the table.

Bruce rubbed Tony’s back and then asked him if he should go get his pain meds but Tony just shook his head.

“Come on Tony, you need them, and you need rest.” Bruce said still rubbing Tony’s back.

Tony then rotated his head so he can look at Bruce without really straightening up,

“I don’t want to take any Bruce, they mess with my head. The doctor said that if the pain is bearable I can start cutting back on them. I really don’t like being dependent on drugs, you know that.” Tony said slowly and hazily as if he was already falling asleep and then he put his head back down.

Bruce did know about Tony’s dislike for drugs. Tony had told him several times that he was scared of becoming addicted to them. The doctor in the hospital also told him that Tony asked them to gradually decrease his dosage while he is in the hospital. Bruce actually understood where Tony was coming from and didn’t want to force him to do anything, and if the doctor said Tony can take them only when he really needs to then Bruce won’t argue with that.

“Okay so let me take you to your room then.” Bruce said

Tony hummed in agreement but looked like he had no intention of moving, Bruce sighed; this only leaves him one solution.

“Jarvis, you there?”

“Yes dr.Banner.” Jarvis replied

“Can you tell Steve to come down here, please?”

“Right away sir”

Bruce then continued to rub Tony’s back but then Tony called his name.

“Yes, Tony?” Bruce said

“I... I can’t sleep without the light of the reactor.” Tony said with a small voice. Then he put his head back down.

The truth was, Tony was kind of scared to be left in the room alone again. He knows that his plan was to get exhausted and fall asleep really quickly. But well now he just feels that if he goes back to bed, he will be wide awake, scared and alone. He heard Bruce calling for Steve and he suspects Bruce did it so Steve can help him bring Tony up to his room. He supposes he also did it to ease Bruce’s guilt a little and to make him understand that Tony still trusts him.

“Okay, we will figure it out.” Bruce said and then he squeezed Tony’s shoulder as if telling him that he is here for him.

Steve then walked in, shook his head with a fond smile at them,

“I thought I told you to stay in bed.” Steve said in mock anger

Tony made a humming noise then straightened himself,

“I did for like an hour or something, I wasn’t sleepy, you guys should have stayed for a while maybe I would have gotten so bored that I would have fallen asleep right away.” Tony said light heartedly even thought it had a hint of truth in his head, well not them being boring, but them staying would have been nice.

As soon as Tony said it though, Steve’s face fell for just one second and they all knew that he understood then he caught himself and smiled,

“Well we are very sorry for that Mr. Stark.” Steve said is the same lighthearted tone of Tony but his smile was honest and just genuine. And Tony understood that he was really apologizing for leaving him alone.

“Well he is done for the day; I don’t even think he can go upstairs on his own. Can you carry him Steve?” Bruce said

And before Steve can say anything, Tony was objecting,

“No Bruce, he most certainly cannot. I can walk, really and both of you can help if you feel like it.” Bruce was about to object but then Tony stood and as soon as he did, his knees buckled and he was falling and oh god, he really didn’t want to fall because that will most definitely be really painful.

But then someone caught him before he hit the floor, and then he was being carried by someone –well definitely Steve- and while it was mortifying to be carried like a princess in Steve’s arms, it was actually kind of comfortable.

“Apparently you don’t get a say in the matter, can you please for once this day just listen to us.”

Tony didn’t want to fight them on this because well he doesn’t hate it as much as he thought he would and also because he really had no energy to get to his room.

He huffed out a breath and said “fine” and then pouted just to stay in character.

Steve then carried him all the way to his room, placed him on the bed and then he sat down on the couch. Bruce, who was following them from the lab to here, threw himself on Tony’s bed next to him.

“What are you guys camping here or something.” Tony said even though he already suspected that Bruce was going to stay and that his brain was screaming “please stay, please stay…”

“Well I thought I might stay for a while, make sure you don’t run off again.” Steve said

“Yeah and I missed you, I think I will actually sleep here tonight.” Bruce said casually

“Well then someone will have to do the talking because I am too tired to entertain you guys with my presence.” Tony said because he really needed some noise to sleep because he didn’t want to think about anything.

And Bruce and Steve talked; they talked until Tony fell asleep on them. He was practically asleep by the time they started talking but after closing his eyes he kept smiling for a while at what they were saying so they just kept at it until he no longer made any indication of hearing them.

Bruce then told Steve that he could go and that he will stay with Tony this night to make sure he was okay. Bruce wanted to stay on the bed next to Tony but he was worried about his incisions, so he took the couch instead.

Tony woke up to Bruce sleeping on the couch, he was drooling and hugging the blankets and looked adorable.

“Jarvis, you there?”

“For you sir, always.”

“Can you take a picture of Brucey bear here please?” Tony said

“Of course, sir”

“Thank you, Jarvis.” Tony said

Five minutes later Bruce stirred awake and immediately looked at Tony. Tony was still watching him so he smiled,

“Rise and shine Brucey, you were looking adorable there.” Tony said

“Good morning Tony, did you sleep okay?” Bruce said

“Yes, I slept great.” Tony said then immediately added “listen Bruce, what you said yesterday. Well it is true that I was hurt that you fell asleep and that you didn’t come visit. But well I know that you care about me. I know that I can trust you and I know that you will feel bad about it for a while but we will be okay.”

“Wow, what did they do to you in the hospital?” Bruce said jokingly

“Yeah yeah, you are forcing me to be the voice of reason here.” Tony joked back

“I might feel better if you let me sleep on your couch for the better part of the foreseeable future.” Bruce said with a crooked smile

“Well if it will make you feel better then.” Tony said with a smirk

And Tony was sure that Bruce knew that it will make him feel better as well.

“I think I will also force you through some more therapy sessions with me, so you know your conscience is totally clear.” Tony said

“Yeah well, I promise to try not to fall asleep.” Bruce said

And they both laughed. Tony was like only 70% sure Bruce won't fall asleep on him. But well he knows that at the end of the day Bruce will always be there for him, on the couch that is exactly next to his bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well this is like the original planned end.  
> however i have been getting ideas for Clint, Natasha and Rhodey, so tell me if you want to read those.  
> also tell me if you want to see more of Tony's recovery anyway. because i am thinking of writing more  
> so yeah tell me what you think. are you bored or should i keep going?


End file.
